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Andy
AKA: No Show, Half Show, Dream Phone, Dougie
Andy enjoys buying rounds, rotating girlfriends and being a general
newsroom annoyance with his number one fan Simon. Over the months he has become more famous for being a big no show than being
on an island. He also enjoys going on the yerpse and turning 23.
Anie
Anie regularly entertains the group with stories off celeb encounters
at her well flash job at Harvey Nics, dah-ling. She enjoys going on the yerpse with Grays FC, ignoring Bryan Adams and going
on the raz, as we all love to do.
Anthi
Anthi is a soon to be Pop Idol. She likes to shame us all at karaoke
with her singing sensation bit while we just shout like a bunch of tuneless idiots. Anthi is one of the more sane ones, but
we've all seen her on the raz, collapsed in a heap on top of our coats at Area.
Grace
AKA: Drunk Grace, Grace "Casual
Sex" Jones
Grace Jones is legendary throughout the print pathway for being the only one who owns a pencil case. Grace
enjoys going on the raz and can be seen stumbling around Area once every few months or so. Grace is the least scary person
ever as she's constantly smiling, even when angry and likes to collect Harry Potter pens for her pencil case.
Hannah
AKA: Hannah No Show, Munchkin.
Hannah is the only person
at Uni who is older than Luan. Possibly also the only person alive shorter than Fizzy (no height chart confirmation yet);
Hannah has the ability to make everyone copy her crazy dancing. Hannah has the most Eurovision knowledge ever and started classic
rumour mills like 'Louise and Chaz have a 3 year old son named Jose'.
Laura
AKA: Laura No
Show
Laura enjoys going on bar marathons and has hair that every girl
on Harrow campus is jealous of. Laura enjoys forming tag teams, starting fights with Alexis outside Area and competing with
other Laura's. Laura also enjoys mass buying Kinder Eggs, collecting Cybertops and handing out free drinks at the bar.
Rakeem
AKA: Formerly known as Evil Scottish Guy
Rakeem is one of the older wiser members of the group. He spends most of
his time harassing lecturers and legends and showing off his extensive general knowledge on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.
He is also a member of the OTC or TOC or CTO...whatever.
Rekha
AKA: Homewrecker, Rekha Bacardia, Yo Rekster
After becoming the editor of that well famous publication Curtain Call,
Rekha has gone onto become the most respected member of the print family. It was her brief affair with Kojak that put her
on the map as a worthy idiot. She spends her time on the Met line, in the student shop and going on lunch dates with friends.
Simon
AKA: Brutus, Cunt
Simon loves
to entertain us with his many stories about when he worked in KFC in Gillingham, Kent, where he's from. Simon also enjoys
taking the piss out of everyone, hogging the remote control in everyones houses and telling people to shut the door. He lives
in the lovely Amigo Pad in South Kenton. He also pretends that he hates us, but we know he loves us really.
Theresa
The number one heckler in the world. Theresa enjoys having and drink,
a smoke and a yerpz. Despite only serving one semester as an idiot she already has a cake named in her honour. Legend!
Also a shout out to:
Latecomers
This goes out to those who for some randon reason where not hear in the
first year but are now part of the print family. This means you Theresa, Ese and Hong Yih.
Bar Legends
They keep Bruce and Kim off the streets but we really must ask Are these
people even on a course?. The main culprits are Drunk Barry (Kilburn is a game. He won), Eduardo, Gyl, Crazy Fruit (famous
for trying to eat a bottle) and Star Trek Guy (Have you heard of Yellow Man? He's Jamaican albino.)
The
Munyens
Campus Legends with shiny hair and designer bags. These girls are big no shows but we forgive
them; the collapse of their empire at our hands was a harsh blow.
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