Now listen up peeps, because what you are about to read and experience is the most valuable piece of information you will ever receive in your entire life!

Yes boys and girls, or should I say Bunnies and Amigosprepare for the stark revelations, actually better than any column in Heat magazine, that is about to be unfolded in front of your very eyes, as I am, yes me, the Rumour Mill King, preparing to unveil to yall exactly what the Rumour Mill is and what it stands for! So listen up.

What is the Rumour Mill?

The Rumour Mill is Uni gossip. Whether it is true or false, no one really cares. But its what is done with the information that is more important. Whether it is made up, totally scandalous, like whos slept with whom (always a favourite) the Rumour Mill can be anything from fact to fiction as long as it is spread!

This is where the Rumour Mill Txt updates come into play. This clever way of technological interactive-ness enables the group to pass on information and take part in the spreading of that information to unknowns, randoms, bar possee etcthe phrase the Rumour Mill may I add was brought into Bunny/Amigo language by me and not Amelia as she likes to claim! However the old fashioned technique of gossiping in the Undercroft bar or simply round the Bunny Mansion is always a classic, if those walls could talk??

So let me go back to the very beginning and let me tell you how it all started.

See last year, yes, back in the days of the second semester in the first year, when Amelia and I used to be very good friends (?), we would hang out at her flat in Halls before and after lectures, and discuss the days eventswhat wed heard, who wed talked to, what wed found out about this and that person, and exchange harmless gossip between ourselves. We sometimes involved Catarina You look like the summer in our discussions as she had an eye for every random on the course (yes I am referring to those early lectures in the auditorium in the first semester, where everyone was too busy checking out randoms and far too concerned with who was wearing what, and deciding on where and who they were gonna sit next to this time! Of course lets not forget the poor I have no friends crew desperate to seek a new pal, only to annoy them about random facts on Finlands Hockey team, No One cares, yes I refer to Sanna and the like) Cat of course was taking note of every person sitting there which in later discussions round her house would come in very handy when discussing randoms and gossip. This went on for a couple of months and of course involved other members of the group.

ThenMichael Plummer made a dig at Amelia in front of Johnny (Greek guy) and Bitch Clare in the canteen one day, saying he didnt trust her and that she was the root of all evil gossips and rumour mills around the Universitysadly after that day Amelia refused to join in with the Rumour Mills and sadly had to depart from that exclusive members only club. Therell always be a place here for u if u chose to come back, after all she does know more randoms than anyone at this Uni.

As I look back on the first year, one of the first RM texts that went round was the one, if u guys can remember of certain people (lets not name and shame anyone now peeps), but we all blatantly know who, doing the dirty which of course came from a reliable source and went round many a time. In fact I dont doubt for one sec that one of us still has that valuable message stored in their inbox somewhere.

The next was that infamous one at Area when Amelia snogged that random Elliot, well lets admit it people, he was a bit of a MINGER. This was when the Rumour Mill first experienced national scale as news of this reached Luan in Hackney. The RM texts later became a global phenomenon as texts reached Brunei and India to inform the International members of the group on the latest.

However this incident involving Amelia did not go down well AT ALL as she became extremely angry with me and refused to talk to me for weeks! Ooopsss this was the first case of Rumour Mills actually being able to hurt peoples feeling? However, did we take these feelings into consideration or those of any other person for that matter, of course not!! After all what is the Rumour Mil for??? Feelings? Bah humbug!!

This year Hannah and Laura got in on the act and became official Rumour Mills! And Laura even graduated from the Rumour Milling Academy of Westminster, who really knew one even existed? She is the only one though to have come out with an actual certificate. However if you are interested and wish to enrol with the Academy, do not hesitate to come to me for more info.

Now I must give an award to the Villain for his remarkable skills at Rumour Milling. See I always saw Villain as the quiet one when it came to Rumour Milling. Always scared of revealing too much, but always never enough no matter. Nevermind how much you begged him to tell you till you were blue in the face! Never the type to spread gossip or let us in on what hed heard, Villain truly excelled himself when one day in the library, he revealed to myself and Luan more than a few Jenko secrets hed heard from the night before at Hannah and Lauras, Lets get pissed round ours night. No kinda invite! L

Now we all play our part in the Rumour Mill, thats right, the Bunnies and Amigos all share gossip, nothing is really kept behind closed doors although I must give props to a couple of non-group members who have always helped us with our never ending search for the ultimate Rumour Mill, however for obvious reasons I cannot reveal their names, as the Rumour Mill does not reveal its sources.

Hannah and Laura tried to help us along the way although theres were always pretty rubbish as they constantly denied Jenko Rumour Mills and never really told us anything interesting anyway as it was always US telling THEM the gossip. This soon ceased as Alexis and I coped on and decided to only give them a select few mills that of course had nothing to do with the Bunnies or Amigos. We however know everything there is to know about the Jenkos,

But lets not forget the second most important member, Alexis, the Rumour Mill Queen. Alexis is an amazing Rumour Miller, preferring her mobile phone as an instrument of the Rumour mill to text and get texts. The Rumour Mill King and Queen do not hold any Rumour Mills from each other and both hold essential roles in the making and functioning of the Rumour Mill.

However I wish to differentiate between a Rumour Mill and a secret. A secret is something u keep to yourself that someone has told u in confidence, which is fair enough, but if that is the case then you must keep it to yourself and not brag about what you have heard to anyone! Especially to the Rumour Mill King as I am very sensitive to people withholding information from me!

But I must add that rumour mills rarely leave the group, as gossip is mostly spread between the Bunnies and I. I of course, know everything about everyone as I make it my business to know everything about everyone, thus why I am The Rumour Mill King.

Rumour Milling obligatory phrase: If u hear of a Rumour Mill and wish to spread it you must always start with the phrase Oh My God

Now in the first semester of the second year the Rumour Mill spread its wings beyond general harmless gossip as we made it our business to find out everything about everyone, past, present and future Rumour Mills. Scandalous and bitchy was the name of the game. Nothing was escaping us! And everyone was in on itif anything was found out everyone would know as nothing can ever get passed the Rumour Mill. Thus one of the first official Rumour Milling gatherings was when Hannah and Laura had that totally crash and burn housewarming party round their house last autumn. The exchanging and confirmations of Mills was at its best that night and it baffles me why there arent anymore of those nights?

Furthermore I am sad to admit that the Rumour Mill threatened to be no more a couple of months ago, after the first night at Propaganda when Alexis refused to let me in on a couple of Jenko Rumour Mills she had found out from a very drunk Hannah. The essential King and Queen partnership was threatening to be extinct after this absurd behaviour from the Queen. Looking back I blame the raz. I wrote the Queen a letter explaining the situation and letting her know that if anything like that was ever to happen again, she would lose her esteem position as Rumour Mill Queen and be demoted to Rumour Mill employee.

I told her that if it was a secret she was not to brag about it as she did to my face, bragging she knew something I didnt. The King cannot cope with such torment, however I later found out anyway, naturally! Haha! Fair enough if its a secret but a mill can never escape and should not be withheld!

So kids, I hope you have learnt many things after reading this column. See, with the rumour mill, your lives will never be the same, but will improve and you can someday, be a true legendary Rumour Miller like the rest of us if u follow this easy guideline. And thats why its up to u to keep it going, spreading, talking, churning as lets be honest, its the only thing that keeps us going.

We live for the Rumour Mill! (official motto)

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